Some humans are misinformed, and others lose their minds once they’ve had a few shots or glasses of adult juice. After a night of drinking they insist on taking the wheel into their own hands and driving like Jeremy Clarkson on a serious mission. In their mind they’re 99% sober and 1% tipsy. Pfft!
1. “I CAN DRINK AND DRIVE, AS LONG AS I USE THE BACK ROADS.”
FACT: You should never drink and drive no matter the road. Police officers know what you’re thinking. They know about your plans to dodge them when you’re on your booze cruise. Taking the dusty roads won’t save you from getting into trouble with the law or worse an accident. Police officers patrol everywhere (even on the roads that seem to go nowhere).
2. “I’VE ONLY HAD COCKTAILS. I’M FINE TO DRIVE!
FACT: You’re not and no matter the drink, you should not be driving. Cocktails mostly contain high levels of hard liquor. Even though your tropical sunset might taste like a delicious non-alcoholic bevvie, it’s got enough power to throw you off balance. The effects of driving after a cocktail or three can leave you shaken and stirred.
3. “I HAVEN’T HAD A DRINK IN AN HOUR! I’m SOBER NOW!
FACT: You’re not and you should not be driving because you’ve been drinking. You’re not going to be sober after an hour of drinking more than you should. Alcohol stays in your bloodstream for longer periods of time.
Below the time periods according to Healthline:
4. “Ja, I’VE BEEN DRINKING, BUT I’M NOT GOING FAR.”
FACT: You should never drink and drive, the distance you’ll be driving does not count. Most accidents happen close to home. When a route is familiar, drivers tend to pay less attention and switch to “auto-pilot,” which means that their caution is decreased in various driving situations (traffic lights, intersections, changing direction, etc.).
5. “I DRANK A LOT, BUT ALSO ATE IN BETWEEN. I CAN DRIVE NOW.”
FACT: It doesn’t matter if you ate an additional 2 loaves of bread with your six pack, YOU SHOULD STILL NOT BE DRIVING. Eating is cheating is a myth! You’re only fooling yourself. If you drink alcohol on an empty stomach it goes straight into your bloodstream. Thinking that it’s okay as long as you eat something afterwards is far from the truth– it’s too late since the alcohol has already affected your functioning. A Big Mac can’t save you from accidents or cold nights behind bars.
6. “I’M NOT DRUNK!
FACT: You are, you’re just in denial and you should not be driving anywhere. Usually the people around you are best to judge when it comes to your sober status. Your average Joe and Jane won’t roll their windows down and hang out of the car while waving to strangers and screaming words inspired by Jack Parrow. “Awe bra, hoe lykit?”.
7. “I KNOW A COOL TRICK TO DECREASE MY BLOOD ALCOHOL CONCENTRATION.”
FACT: There are no tricks to speed up elimination of alcohol – only time works. Taking an icy shower, drinking strong coffee or dirty dancing your way through a crowd will not lessen the effects of alcohol. Your liver eliminates almost everything. To sober up, you have to wait for your liver to recover from your binge session. This takes time so you should not be driving.
8. “MEN HAVE A BETTER TOLERANCE FOR ALCOHOL THAN WOMEN.”
FACT: A person’s sex has a fairly negligible effect compared to other factors that come into play, such as weight, rate of alcohol absorption by the stomach, fatigue or medication. Some girls can handle their liquor better than guys. #justsaying Whether you’re a guy, girl or Superman – you shouldn’t be driving.
9. “I GOT 0.07 ON A WALL-MOUNTED BREATHALYZER TEST. THERE IS NO RISK IF I DRIVE.”
FACT: Wall-mounted breathalyzer tests (often located near the exits or the bathrooms in bars) or the small low-cost tubes you can purchase, can measure your blood alcohol concentration, but cannot measure your ability to drive. Alcohol intolerance, fatigue, stress or taking other substances (like medication), does not increase your blood alcohol concentration, but can amplify the effects of alcohol. You are at a much greater risk of having an accident or being arrested for impaired driving. Guess what, even if that tests says it’s ok, it’s not and you should not be driving.
10. “I CAN DRINK MORE, BECAUSE I’m CHUBBY”.
FACT: Weight plays a role in alcohol consumption, but other factors also apply. If you are overweight, but on certain medications or you’re drinking on an empty stomach, your chances of being as drunk as a pirate after a few beers is extremely high. Your skinny pal might be able to gulp one or three beers more than you. If you’ve had more than 1 unit of alcohol you should not get behind the wheel!
Be a responsible adult and don’t follow your own impaired advice when you’ve gone over the limit. Stop acting like an idiot and plan ahead, before you risk your own life or worse, other innocent lives.